Freedoms and Responsibilities

Last weekend we let our 9 year old son bike around the neighborhood with a friend for the first time. He arrived home with a pot plant.

This all happened as a result of something new we’ve introduced at home ‘Freedoms and Responsibilities’. It’s working well. The idea is that being responsible unlocks “Freedoms”.

So on Sunday Luca “unlocked” his first bike ride without one of us.

He ventured out into our neighbourhood with a friend and they spent most of the day riding between their houses or the local shops.

When he rode in for that final time the delight of the day was across his face. He was so full of stories of the neighbourhood.

Earlier this year, my husband and I read Jonathan Haidt book the “Anxious Generation: how the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness." He argues that “overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world” are major reasons why kids born after 1995 became so anxious.

I do worry about how much time Luca spends on screens. We do have security and limits set up, but it’s still alot. However, before this book, we hadn’t really turned our minds to the lack of real world freedom we allow him to have.

So in a family meeting we devised a plan where if Luca could be consistent with his responsibilities - the usual stuff - make bed, tidy room, clothes in dirty clothes basket etc. Really just the basics of being part of our family team - he could start unlocking freedoms.

The big, desired freedom was unlocked on the weekend - the bike ride with a friend around the neighbourhood. But before that he was allowed to run around the block in the mornings before school by himself and walk to and from school (5mins away) a couple of days a week.

So we had been building up to Sunday and that meant I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be about it. We could just enjoy his enjoyment of the freedom.

And what about the pot plant I hear you say…with his saved up money burning a hole in his pocket he made several trips to the local shops for necessities, mainly hot chips and lollies. But after one such trip he walked in the front door obviously so proud of himself holding a pot plant from the IGA…”I just thought I really needed one for my bedroom, Mum”

Freedom in Action!